What are little girls made of?

Reading other blogs oftentimes spark internal, analytic thoughts in me. If a topic hits me enough, I end up discussing it with my husband. So Justice’s recent brush with a horrific situation struck such a nerve. I happened to mention to hubby one night, recounting the events to him. I then posed the question, so how would you react if this ever happened to our (future) little gir?

He gave a little chuckle and said: “By the time our daughter is eight years old, she’ll be so lethal, no one would mess with her.” (I’m assuming Justice’s little girl is 8 yo. or so).

I laughed at his comment, recalling his plans for our children. I think he expects them to be able to break a finger with their grip as soon as they come out of the womb, be able to deliver a jarring martial arts chop at the age of 3, take on the deadly vipers assasination squad at the age of 8. Such are his plans.

The world out there is a big, harsh place. Like my favorite show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer points out in the 6th season (geek reference), “Life is the big bad”. It can be wonderful, yes. It can be nice, and warm. But sometimes not and at the off-chance that the world can swallow them whole, you need to equip your children, especially your girls, with some powerful mojo. I have no idea when and if I’ll even have a little girl, but I have countless plans in order to empower her.

-Have Daddy around…I don’t want her to be a daddy’s little girl per se, but having a Father figure, a good father figure, will show how a man should treat a woman. Some girls who don’t have a father figure around often seek that male approval later on in life in strange and scary ways.

-Put them into sports. It gives them something to do, builds their confidence, gives them a way to channel their energy and frustration. Kick that ball, girl!

-Speak frankly about the birds and the bees, etc. etc. This is very important to me. You know there are now 6th, 7th grade girls out there who think that giving a bl*w job to boys is ok, because it isn’t considered s*x? I want to tell her that before she kneels down and gives any boy anything*, make sure the boy is ready to kneel in front of her!

-Be open, honest, and nurture her trust in us, her parents; not fear. I want our children to respect authority figures and their elders, but I don’t want them to think that they have to do whatever an adult says. I want them to be able to stand up to an adult if something doesn’t feel right, to question authority.

You may notice that I flp-flop between addressing our children, and addressing daughters specifically. Well it can’t be helped. My mind conjures so many minefield scenarios for my future daughter, but I hope to empower my children no matter their gender.

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  1. just got back from justice’s page. life’s reality sometimes scares me. parenting is indeed a tough job.

    among the topics we engaged in for our future bébé, defense was never an issue. we tackled language, schools, crèche, etc…i guess i’ll have to start thinking about it too…

  2. hi tin, my C2 turned 6 last Dec. lang. and i agree with what you’ve enumerated. i have always been open—(C1 is a living proof that i’m frank and can be talked with about life, especially s*x, but of course, there’s always the right moment/age for that)

    thing is, the have Daddy around, put them in sports, talk to them frankly, etc. were all being slowly done…but then this happened. buti na lang, we’ve already made her strong enough NOT to be traumatized by the incident and get back-up to her normal, happy self.

    lastly, ang cute naman to even just imagine a newborn baby breaking a finger.

  3. Oh yeah! Let girl power live on with your kin!

    I frankly don’t know how I’m gonna handle those kinds of situations. Just thinking about a possibility like that gives me shivers! My emoitions can get the better of me. I’d probably wring those crazy boys’ necks.

    You’re right on about the Father Figure and involvement in sports. I could go on and on about my lack in both areas when I was a kid and how it affected me. I’m glad I turned out level-headed enough but I’m not gonna let my kids go through what I did! Yeah, we gotta teach them martial arts as soon as they jump out of our wombs. LOL!

    P.S. I left you a Friendster testimonial. ;)

  4. apart from a loving and stable parenting, as soon as my child can stand up straight and walk, i’ll enroll him/her in a taekwondo class. i’m serious! you can never be too careful these days.

  5. I have 3 sons but I’m not about to go easy on them if they showed signs of behaving badly. This early they should be able to know how to treat girls nicely.

  6. i agree with all of your plans for your future kids. especially the ‘birds and the bees’ part.

    i saw this episode on oprah where young girls give b**w j**s to boys at the back of their school buses. i mean, what the heck?!?!?!

  7. analyse, its an important topic for me. but you guys don’t worry too much about that yet. Sometimes, raising a kid well empowers them all the same.

    justice: 6 years lang! How horrible for her. She is way too young for what she went through. But hopefully, she’s way too young to have sustained much damage. Then again, kids aren’t stupid. good luck!

  8. toni: martial arts is my husband’s holy grail. Heheh…Thanks very much for the testimonial. Have to return the favor soon. See you this summer, hopefully!

  9. pazette: that is so true. what a ways we’ve gone since our childhood days.

    Linnor: God bless you for raising those boys!

    tin: that scares the beejesus out of my husband and I.

  10. hi tintin! i’m sure you’ll be a kick-ass mom in the future! tee hee! There are so many things we want to teach our kids but there will be incidents that will arise that we are not prepared for and wonder, what the heck hit us? All we have to do is be there for our kids. Did that make sense?

    I may make parental mistakes but the one thing that I don’t want Bea to ever, ever doubt is how much we love her and I think she’s getting that message. Sometimes, she’d just come out and say “mummy, i love you.” and that’s the best thing we can empower our children with — the power of love. awwwwwwww!

  11. syemay sis, that really bothered me too…

    tere are still so many things in this world that we are sort of defenseless about…

    like rejection…

    or human stupidity

    or a total narrow-mindedness or lack of consideration for other people’s space and person…

    and short of pummeling parents who are like that to death… hay naku… one can only really hope that karmic retribution happens (to them) with you still around to be gleeful & comforted…

  12. my child may be a boy.. but still after reading justice’s entry.. my bloood was literally boiling! (i’m at work pa naman!) God those parents!

    i mean yes i can hate the boy but only to an extent because children only do what they are told and taught! it’s that f*(&*^! mom! (sorry.. i got really emotional after reading that..)

    Ziggy’s going to grow up the way his dad was raised. Such a gentleman in this world where chivalry is dead… there will be one left. :razz:

    and i can’t agree with you more on those points you have raised.. so true. Scary nga lang when you’re already there and actually raising that child.

  13. you just made me remember that i should get mikka into something similar, like sports or karate or judo or whatever else martial art…

  14. SR ikaw ba ang anonymous? Hello!

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